orcein

Wow, so I'm freaking leaving for Japan on Tuesday, the 11th. That's hardcore. I mean, sure, I've known about it since March, but man... It's like it's ACTUALLY happening now, which is weird. I guess when you don't have, oh, say, half a year to get used to something it seems more concrete, but when operating under that assumption for so long I think you kind of get used to it until it's staring you in the face.

Maybe there were steps along the way. Quitting my job, getting my visa, cleaning my room; but these have all been within the last month (which, by the way, seems rather like an eternity ago, though only about two weeks). It's kind of like you've had to go to the bathroom for three weeks, and you've finally goten up and your hand is nw on the doorknob! I'm freaking excited, let me tell you! ^_^

Yeah. Japan... I'm going for school; that is, I'm studying Japanese, and going there seems like the best way to make the best of my education and tme in school.

Wheee! *drunk on surrealism*

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/

That's where they come from, if y'all haven't seen this. It's fun! ^_^

Have you (to nobody in particular) ever just sat and thought about how cool we all are? Like, our fingers and stuff actually MOVE, and WORK, and we can DO shit with 'em! Like you can do so many different things!

Watch monkeys at a zoo sometime...

New story up on my short-story blog. So if you like, you can go read it. ^_^

http://dassenkoui.blogspot.com/

So, in light of having turned my thoughts more toward becoming an author, I think it's probably a good idea to write lots of short stories as well as the larger one I'm working on.

So, here you go:

Boop!

I'll post short stories up there, as well as any more non-fictional things I may feel justified in writing. I already have one up that I wrote just now. It's a draft, so comments are welcome, of course!

Also, sorry if it's confusing. ^_^;; (That's kind of intentional... only without the "kind of"...)

Okay, so I'm not failing Japanese. SOmehow I managed to get a B- without doing my final... Um, yeah. O.o Not sure how that one came about, actually. Gaijin Smash, perhaps? I honestly can't say, though my teacher did write an email saying that she could tell gave an honest effort on all of the class assignments (y'know, aside from like, the 4 that I never turned in, I guess)... So I think she probably fudged my grade a bit in my favor or something. Heh. Weird.

So anyway, I've decided to write about my new job, which seems like it's going to be pretty cool. There's a theater near my house which was pretty old and getting kind of run-down for a while that was recently purchased and has been in the process of being remodeled by this company, and so I applied, because it seems better than most movie theater work, and was rather hired-on-the-spot to be a server. So now we're in training, and I've learned some things about being a server.

It's really pretty scary, because there's at least a half-dozen common ways to be fired/arrested/jailed/etc... if I don't do things right, 'cause I'll be serving alcohol to folks there. (Hence, I'll make relative "Bank" compared to many theater workers.) Fun things like, if they smell like weed, I can refuse to serve them alcohol. ^_^ (Mary-Jane and alcomohol don't really mix too good-ly, y'see...) And it's against the law to knowingly serve someone to the point of intoxication or beyond, so I also get to decide when to cut people off.

All in all, I gather that I'll be very independant in this position, which is really cool. I've always said I'd like to be independant in my jobs! ^_^ Plus, the longest shifts are about 4-5 hours long, which is quite my ideal time frame to be working in a day! It leaves me play time on generally both ends of the day, which I LOVE a lots! So I'm pretty excited. If you're in the Aurora, CO area sometime this summer, come by and check it out. I think it'll be pretty cool. ^_^

I may have just failed my Japanese final. Or rather, "just" failed would be incorrect. Because, you see, when I read the schedule for when finals were, I read Thursday, today. I went to school, to the classroom, to take said final exam, and nobody was there. I look around at officies with lights out and doors closed, and find myself confused. I check a computer there.

Tuesday, it says.

Well, fuck. Okay, I thought that the other section was Teusday, so if I was really Tuesday, then maybe THEY were Thursday. Okay... Go to their classroom, and nobody's there. No lights, no anybody taking tests. I call home, brother checks my email, reads the review page and final schedule. The other section was Monday, and mine, it says this time, was Tuesday.

I swear to everything I know to be holy that when I read it I SAW Thursday! Thursday was concrete in my mind! And now I don't know if my instructor will let me take it THREE days late or not. She may not even be allowed to, given that school policy may prohibit final exams from being taken on days OTHER than the assigned day.

So I may, in fact be boned for this class, which may in turn fuck me over for studying in Japan next fall and spring, as my GPA may dive low enough to be below the range of acceptance for Study Abroad.

What this means is that if I still want to go to Japan, I will have to give up half my summer (when I would be working to save UP for Japan) and take the WHOLE semester over again the second half of this summer.

I haven't heard back from my teacher yet, only thrown myself to her mercy via email. She may allow me to take the final late. She may not. My grade, even after not taking the final may still be a passing grade. I'm not sure yet.

But doesn't it just fuckin' blow? Shit, son, I fuckin' can NOT believe this happened. Honestly, who does shit like this happen to?

-- Ben

One more anime series, if you're into the more mature sorts of stories, with a bit more realistic twist to it (though not too much, I mean it's anime after all), you should download from AnimeSuki.com a series called Honey & Clover. I'm a little beyond halfway through it, and it's simply amazing. ^_^ Love it much, I do.

Well, it's past my bedtime. Night!

Quick post:

The sound quality on the original Sailor Moon series is VERY very bad. That's what you get for listening to something recorded by technology that was old back in the early 90s, I suppose.

*sigh* Most likely as a mechanism for escapism from... something (probably the fact that I've been sick, and my trip to Japan is becoming reality, and the semestre's almost over, and I need to find work this summer, and after Japan I need to start "real" life, etc...), I've been watching a lot of anime lately. Downloaded fansubs, of course, because I am a very poor person. びんぼう, as they say in Japan. ^_^ And Partly because I've been so intrinsically minded, partly from the emotional nature of the shows I've been watching, and I dunno maybe some other things, I've had some thoughts.

1) Fiction has been a HUGE part of my life since I was aware of its existence. I read books unceasingly as a child, throughout elementary school, and even a ways into middle school, I think. I don't remember when I stopped reading all the time, actually. But I think that fiction was an escape for me. It was probably the most important thing in my young life. That's how I coped with things, by disappearing in a book.

2) I am most comfortable in large crowds if I feel confident that I'm either completely accepted as-is by everyone there, or completely confident that no-one there knows of my existence, and I can just watch. I think this is somewhat a result of my reliance on fiction early in life. Realistic or fantasy, I was always safe watching it, reading it, and knowing deep down that no matter what dangers befell the characters (who were all real to me whenever I was reading), I was still going to be safe. I guess something about reaching out to strangers and putting myself in the danger makes me unusually uncomfortable, even still, though I manage better to cover it up. ^_^

3) I need to share my fictions with others. I've always held that I have stories to tell, and that I feel like I need to tell them in some way. I've made some amount of progress towards writing a book, though it's not probably a third done yet, I don't think, and this is just the first draft! But I think it's important that whatever I may do in the future for a career, it involves the sharing of fiction with others. Fiction is a safe-haven for those in trouble, and it's a place to experiment for those who are unsure of themselves. It can be a crutch if overused, but it can also be the gateway into self-realization and esteem.

4) Here are the anime I highly recommend from this last group, with some others tagged on to the end because they're just good anyway, though I'd seen them before:

--Kanon (2006)
--Ghost Hunt
--Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan
--Air
--Wolf's Rain (but you gotta watch it on DVD, on Cartoon Network!!!)

In other news, I'm ready for this bullshit semestre to be over. Also, that's not true, as I'm not ACTUALLY ready. I still have makeup assignments to do and turn in! *scary* And here I am wasting my time writing emo-blogs and watching anime! *lazy*

It's only 8 (or rather, 4 split in half each) episodes long, but terribly funny! Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro Chan! It's about a boy who lives with this "angel" named Dokuro-chan, and she likes to kill him with her huge-ass metal bat!

It's got a little fan-service, and can be somewhat mildly perverse at time, so if you don't mind that (or excessive amounts of humorous violence), I highly recommend this one. ^_^

http://www.animenfo.com/animetitle,1655,wkxlcl,bokusatsu_tensh.html
http://www.animesuki.com/series.php/589.html

I truly am a frustrated musician, I've concluded. Because, while I don't much like to practice music, I find myself finding/wanting various instruments all the time. For instance, I've decided that sometime in my life I will own one of these. I may not be good at it, but one of them WILL be mine! ^_^

Also, hoping to pick up trumpet over the summer (in as much as an instrument can be "picked up" in that amount of time, eh heh heh...), so I can play something with, I dunno, cajones or something. ^_^

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
ONE.
Word.

(Not as easy as you might think.)


1. Where is your cell phone? pants
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend/S.O.? いない
3. Your hair? sick
4. Your mother? sick
5. Your father? nice
6. Your favorite item? notebook
7. Your dream last night? 見えなかった
8. Your favorite drink? ...water?
9. Your dream car? meh.
10. The room you are in? public
11. Your ex? female
12. Your fear? clowns
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? 日本人
14. Who did you hang out with last night? nobody
15. What you're not? female
19. The last thing you did? "delete"
20. What are you wearing? clothes
22. Your favorite book? many
23. The last thing you ate? Colbert
24. Your life? hrm.
25. Your mood? eh?
26. Your friends? engaged
27. What are you thinking about right now? Japan
28. Your car? ない
29. What are you doing at the moment? typing
30. Your summer? exciting
31. Your relationship status? hopeless
32. What is on your tv? 分かりません
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? depends
35. School? masturbation

Copy.
Paste.
Answer.
Questions.
In.
ONE.
Word

Hello. I come with disturbing news.

The "university" which I attend, and thought to be a simple case of higher-education taking itself far too seriously has turned out to be, in fact, quite different. No, I come to find out that the University of Colorado (inversely monikered "CU" for some ass-backwards reason having to do perhaps with the University of California and the relative sizes of the two universities' penises) is not in fact an institution of higher learning at all. Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me, if you please, to set up the situation.

The University of Colorado, like all "educational" institutions, due to some nationally shared inferiority complex and a base belief that one can come out on top when compared to other such corporations by pure power of imagery, has resorted to caveman animism and adopted in this case the North-American bison as their deity of choice. And they have named their god Ralphie... Yes, I was surprised today to discover that the "University" of Colorado actually owns a LIVE ANIMAL named "Ralphie", who is a FEMALE bison, not MALE as the name implies. Not only is my tuition going to help fund a live animal, but this animal is loved by the alumni and faculty and students almost universally. This animal is paraded around the track at football games during the halftime show. On occasions when the away game's field allows it, they truck this poor young lady across the nation to parade her around at OTHER teams' fields.

Let me step back for a moment and ask a question. What do you call an organization where people pay to go there and be entertained by live animals? A circus. They obviously aren't an institution of higher education, because higher education a) likes to refer to animals by their CORRECT names, and b) spends money on education and the betterment of the university setting.

Looking further at the article, apparently there was a significant sum left by an alumni which is used to help pay for this fiasco. That's nice that money donated to the school isn't used to better anyone's education but rather to please simpletons during football games. That's just fucking great! I'm being taught by BOZO the MOTHERFUCKING CLOWN! Shit!

*sigh*

It's okay, after this semestre, I never have to set foot on campus longer than it takes to do some final interviews or meetings to get shit taken care of for my graduation. Japan in the autumn and spring, then some online classes, and I'm fucking DONE. Finished. I can wash my hands of this accursed degree-giving circus.

Ah, yes. I do on occasion dance. To be more precise, I have been known to do a little ballroom dance, though the majority of my rhythmic stepping is done as square dance. Yea read that correctly. Why, I have gone so far on occasion as to be a member of a performance team representing traditional American dance to festivals overseas!

The truth of the matter is that it can actually be quite fun given good company, and very energetic and tiring given good dancers. I encourage everyone to keep an open mind when it comes to this activity, for as much as it seems really dumb, I assure you that it needn't be, and as much as it seems like only old people do this, I assure you that if you can find people YOUR age doing it and jump in you will have a great time... assuming you like to dance. Seriously, I KNOW you like DDR, so how much LESS dumb is a REAL dance style? (No, DDR is NOT real dancing... ^_^)

Anyway, I'm beat having just danced hard for my SECOND day in a row. Tomorrow is a day off. ^_^

Hey, Treyca, not sure if you've heard of this one or not, but I thought you'd be interested in case you hadn't. It seems like it's right up your alley. And when you're done (or before, y'know, whenever) I have an AMV I found that you should watch. ^_^

I was looking at the Encyclopaedia Dramatica because it is one of the few sites with a definition for "weeaboo", which I needed to know because I read VGCats.com, when I ran into this picture, which made me laugh for quite some time.

I kind of think it's an improvement. Also, the Encyclopaedia Dramatica has much content which is not nice with regards to fan-fiction authors. Funny things, but VERY not nice and I'm sure to go to hell for laughing, even though I disapprove. *sigh*

Oh yeah, and it traumatized me. It's one of those sites that you just CAN'T STOP looking at, y'know? It's horrible. But the picture was funny. I liked it.

Hehe... Funny topic. Anyway, I just finished watching some "Karaoke Revolution presents: American Idol" promotional website's KR contest. Turns out the little skank who won the "popular" vote was not the best performer. She was possibly the prettiest, but the voice heard in the video is not HERS, it's the mostly the voice-over provided in case you don't know the melody!

Which gets me to the topic of American Idol. This show pisses me the hell off, and not just because it occurs at the same time as House, on the same network, meaning I have to not watch House for weeks at a time because THEY want to show American Idol. X( Nono, I have real reason to hate the show.

You see, they call it "reality" TV, though we all should know by now it isn't. My brother knew a girl in his class in high school who went to a neighboring state to audition for American Idol. She is an amazing singer. You know, the kind who the school picks to sing the national anthem at pep rallies, or to sing a touching piece at graduation? Yeah, that kind of singer. She didn't even make it past the screeners. Did you know that? There's an audition in front of screeners to see who gets to perform for the famous-three! And this girl didn't pass, yet the useless dipshits with no vocal talent at all are allowed to pass!

RATINGS! Apparently, viewers don't want to watch a REAL competition of REAL singers, so the panel picks out some of the best and some of the worst to make for "interesting" TV.

American Idol, you can suck my balls!

-- Ben

It's true, what they say! (That is, assuming they say something to the effect that unpleasant tasks are always better with company,) Jake and I went job hunting today, We drove to maybe half a dozen stores. looked around for 'now hiring' signs and such. and put in two applications, One application went to Borders. who was hiring the lady said. and the other went to EBGames, The guy at EBGames actually spoke with us for about 15 minutes about various things. all while looking actively at our applications, I'm pretty sure that the EB thing could well work out for us! Hopefully as a third shift-manager they'll pay me more than I got at my last game job ($7.50/hr),

Yay for not being poor!

PS: Commas and periods have been swapped.

I think my father must be the single most supportive man on the planet. I want to spend my final year of college (next fall/spring) studying in Japan, which seems appropriate to my degree in Japanese. This is an expensive prospet. You're looking at about $30,000-$40,000+ for the whole thing. I know my stafford loans won't sover the whole thing and a whopping $5500 for the academic year, and I've basically resigned myself that I'm going to have to pay for as much of it as I can in the short term, apply for all the scholarships on earth, and then sell my soul for the next 30 years to some bank for whatever the rest is. I have no intention of asking mom and Dad to pay for an unreasonably high amount of this, naturally.

But I do need to discuss it with them, and to let them in on how things are going to have to go if I'm to do this thing; including what classes I'm going to have to take, probably summer classes or online classes for some of the (rest of the) core req's. I feel like they need to be in on this. Plus, the more people who know what's going on, the more likely it is that things won't be left to rest.

So I go tell Dad that I need to talk to him and Mom sometime this week about this whole thing, because it involves money. That's almost verbatim what I said. His immediate response: "Well, then it probably isn't going to happen!" He said it emphatically, like I've been trying to milk money from them my whole life and he'd finally gotten his chance to shoot down what he felt was a useless expenditure of finances. I'm pretty sure that's not how he meant it, but damnit that's how it sounded.

So immediately I'm about ready to start crying ON THE SPOT, because this is something that I feel is ABSOLUTELY vital for me to do. I don't know why, but it feels more vital to me than logic can explain. So there I was, on the verge of passing out from shock. I didn't know what to say. He must have sensed my disorientation, because he added in (somewhat markedly less energetically) "Your mom and me are barely able to subsidize you guys' schooling as it is."

The thing is I already knew that. And he just jumped to a conclusion that I was going to ask for money or something, like I don't understand the basics of our family's financial situation. All I wanted was to let him know that I needed to discuss some matters with him and mom because of what I need to do with my education, and that money was going to be involved. Sure, I guess I could've been a little more abstract about the whole thing and explain more, but I wasn't going around assuming people would think the worst of me the moment they heard what I said at first.

There are two (give or take) answers I would have found acceptible:

1) Okay, we'll have to do that later. (Suggesting a time, or asking for a preferred time here would have been okay by me.)

2) What do you mean by "it costs money"?
"It's really expensive"
"Well, we aren't really in a position to cover that much."
"No, I know, Dad. But I'm going to need to do a bunch of loans and scholarships and work and stuff, and I really don't want to have to do all of the work on my own, so I want you and Mom involved."
"Okay, well we'll talk about it after your mom gets home."

Either scenario would have been just fine. FWIW, this is the same kind of support I received throughout elementary/middle/high school whenever I wanted to do something that Dad had never thought of.

Question for Treyca: What is it about fathers and wanting their children to do exclusively things that they suggest/did/thought of rather than acting on their own?

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